Moodle
Essential Dating Questions to Spot Red Flags
Questions Women Should Be Asking The Men That They’re Dating And Other Stuff That The Rainbow Doesn’t Cover
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Women make bad decicions. A lot. Like if there’s a dark and scary road with a Tyler Perry shaped boogey monster wielding two Sarah Palin slushies standing in the way and then another road full of sunlight and Idris Elba doppelgangers (pretty sure “doppelganger” is one of Champ’s favorite words), 8.3 out of 10 women will chose the bad road. Why? I don’t know. And neither do you.
Or you.
Or you.
Well, we here are in the business of fighting crime and lifestyle management. And no, that doesn’t mean we do gay consulting or hand out condoms. It just means that we believe in helping those who need the help that they were previously unable to get. And if tthose last 120 words weren’t clear enough, my plan here today is to help women learn the right questions to ask men during those first pivotal dates before you end up swearing some man lied to you and manipulated you and took advantage of you when he really would have told you’d do that to you in the first place if you’d only asked.
Closed mouths don’t get fed. Unless of course your mouth is wired shut. Kanye.
Here’s a list of questions that women should be asking men to help figure out just how many red flags your dude is showing up to the Double Dare with.
1) Do you have any kids?
Ladies, not, “do you like kids?” or “do you want kids?”. Look I assume that most of you ask some variation of a question about children. But if you don’t ask the right question you’ll pretend that you didn’t know he had 3 kids by 4 women until three months into dating him. Hell, there are women reading this site RIGHT NOW who don’t know I have a kid and I’ve specifically mentioned my kid no less than one time.
2) Are you married?
I just had a woman I know tell me that she asks her male suitors if they are married. I don’t believe her. The assumption is that since they’re out, ya know, dating, that they aren’t married. So I can understand why one might NOT ask. However, you might as well since we’re already asking if he has kids or if he’s gay. (Yeah it’s the next question). If he hesitates to say anything other than “no” then you need to drop him faster than a Redskins receiver trying to win a game.
3) Are you gay?
I mean you might as well. He might be offended but if he reads any of the current literature about Black women and their struggles to find straight men with even a modicum of success in life he’ll understand. Then again, if he is gay he’s probably not going to say that he is and you’ll probably only find out after you get married and you surf through his email or something and find a bunch of messages from some guy named ‘Toine or Rico Peru.
3a) Do you receive oral favors from men?
Slightly more invasive. Get it? More invasive? If he says, “I have” and you voted for John McCain it will not work. Trust me.
4) Are you currently dating anybody of significance?
If dudes starts reciting the lyrics to Lil Wayne’s amazingly dope song “I’m Single” you should probably run like the wind. However, if you and your friends are just trying to get with he and his friends so that you all can be friends then hey, party party party, you should all get wasted. Wow, that’s a dated song reference now.
5) Have you ever had an STD?
If dude asks you what classifies as an STD, it would probably behoove you to quietly remove yourself from his life quickly. In fact, any answer that isn’t “no, I have a clean bill of health and my doctor loves me” should be greeted with a stern furling of the eyebrow. Oh, and an exit stage left. Word.Life.Son…some of them STD’s never go away. Like the cooties.
6) Is your best friend a woman?
This forces you to examine whether or not you think that men and women can be friends and of course, you should then follow that up with, “when was the last time you two slept together?” If he says, “never, I’m gay” well you’ve killed two birds with one stone. If he says, “last year, but now she’s getting married to her lawyer but I think he’s gay”, or, “she’s the perfect rhyme over the perfect beat” you should realize that you don’t have a chance, real.
Those are 6 or 7 questions that women should be asking that probably don’t get asked enough because the rainbow isn’t enough. Falks, what OTHER questions should women be asking.
Community service, do your duty.